his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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