Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
