i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm passing your future prison.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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