State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Found your dick twin last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
