Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
