i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
