Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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