I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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