Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Still dying that you shit outside
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
