we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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