remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
