Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
