You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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