theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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