Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
