Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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