dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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