Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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