what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
