omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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