Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
