a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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