dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
