she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
