Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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