YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
