physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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