That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
