Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
