Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
