"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
