Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
