I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
