last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
