No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
