there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
