This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
