Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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