All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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