I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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