I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
