Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
