If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
