To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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