bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
