we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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