fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
