the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
