She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I die, sorry about rent.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
