____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
